Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Homeschooling and Catholicism


In case you are new to the series, you can start at the series opening or the first series post.

Since I have already talked so much about the importance of homeschooling in relation to Catholicism in my past three posts,
I only have a few more things to say on the topic.

Passing on our Catholic faith is of utmost importance as parents. Our whole God-given parenting goal is to get our children to heaven. How can we do this without teaching the faith? Children should learn the Truths of the faith, the basic Bible story and timeline, and how to properly defend the faith. This can be done with the Catechism, the Bible, and a few apologetic works.

This is the most important reason to homeschool, because this duty is ours alone and in order to have a complete education, a study of Catholic doctrine, as well as apologetics and Bible history must also be included. To leave God out of the equation of education is to leave a gaping hole in our history, and more importantly in our life. It also excludes morality from all subjects because morals are based on religious beliefs. How can one say that a war was waged for the wrong reasons or a ruler was unjust without giving an explanation based upon religious tenets?

We must also make sure that our children learn the truth about sex, homosexuality, and other issues that are taught immorally and way too early. These subjects can be dealt with when appropriate and in the proper religious context so that are children are not confused.

By bringing children into the world and baptizing them in the faith, we have made the commitment before God and the community that we will teach our children. How can we then abnegate this responsibility?

For more information on homeschooling, please read the resources listed here.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Homeschooling: Why Is It Important?


In case you are new to the series, you can start at the series opening or the first series post.


Although not everyone has the ability to homeschool (because of financial or other concerns), it is important for so many reasons and I will try to address as many of them as possible in this post; so it is rather long.

As emphasized by a declaration from the Second Vatican Council and by Blessed Pope John Paul II in two different writings, we as parents must keep in mind that we are not only the primary but also the principle educators of our children. This duty was not given by the Church but by God himself and as such this right is completely inalienable. (See Familiaris Consortio, 40.) In Proverbs 1:8, the child is told “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and reject not your mother’s teaching.” We must teach our children from the beginning about the world and about God. It is our duty and our right to be the principle teachers of our children, not to surrender our responsibility to someone else.

Whether we want the duty or not we are the primary teachers of religion. Our attitudes, actions, beliefs, and words will form the child in his or her view of religion. Catholic schools are not designed to be the only or even the primary teachers of religion, because the child will follow the parent, not the teacher. Therefore, homeschooling fulfills the duty for us as parents to educate our children, especially where religion is concerned.

Along with this, I must emphasize the principle of subsidiarity. Subsidiarity is a principle of Catholic social teaching which states that all institutions exist for the sake of the individual/family so that whatever the individual/family is able to do, society should not take over and what small societies can do, larger societies should not take over. Below are two excerpts from writings of Blessed John Paul II.
Familiaris Consortio, 45: “But society -- more specifically the state -- must recognize that ‘the family is a society in its own original right’ [111], and so society is under a grave obligation in its relations with the family to adhere to the principle of subsidiarity. The public authorities should take care not to take from families the functions that they can just as well perform on their own or in free associations; instead it must positively favor and encourage as far as possible responsible initiative by families.”

Letter to Families, 16: “Parents are the first and most important educators of their own children, and they also possess a fundamental competence in this area: they are educators because they are parents. They share their educational mission with other individuals or institutions, such as the Church and the State. But the mission of education must always be carried out in accordance with a proper application of the principle of subsidiarity. This implies the legitimacy and indeed the need of giving assistance to the parents, but finds its intrinsic and absolute limit in their prevailing right and their actual capabilities” [emphasis original].
Thus, when parents have the ability to teach their own children, it becomes important that they do. They have the ultimate responsibility as primary and principle educators of their children to teach them the ways of the world. As Chesterton says in What’s Wrong with the World, “How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone?” Governments cannot usurp this responsibility from parents, although many states try. Parents have an obligation and a right to decide what is important for their children to study and to teach it to them. The government’s role is to make sure children are being taught, but not to tell the parents what to teach.

We must also heed the warning from Chesterton in one of his Illustrated London News articles when he says, “The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense.” Looking back at my old education post, we recall this quote from the HSDLA.
“Is it merely a coincidence that the two countries [Germany and Japan] whose educational system we have most admired gave rise to totalitarian states in the 20th century, bent on world domination? Looking into the dying embers of two world wars should remind us that the utopian impulse that lures men to entrust control of the individual—including compulsory attendance and state control of education—to the wisdom of the state, sets the stage for corrupt and domineering governments. And, as experience should have taught us, this can lead to horrible results. Although today’s proponents of compulsory attendance will argue that their purpose is benign, when the power to control education is concentrated in the hands of a few, it can easily be turned toward objectives which are not all benign.”
We must be careful sending our children away for nine months a year, twelve to fourteen years of their young, moldable lives, especially when there is plenty of evidence of schools keeping parents out of the loop. How many children are graduating today, after twelve years of school, without the ability to perform simple math problems or to write articulately? As parents, it seems by giving up our responsibility to the government, we have ourselves allowed education to decline.

The purpose of compulsory education today is quite different than when it first came into law. In the 1800’s, its main purpose was to keep children out of the work force and teach them to become good citizens. Today, it seems to be solely about test scores—teachers teach to the tests as well as teaching test-taking skills. Many schools have gotten rid of recess time and some have even gotten rid of the playground. (Yes, it is true. I have read the news articles.) The authorities think more time sitting in a classroom will somehow make better students, but many of the boys are being drugged with ADHD medications in order to keep them still (more on that later). Meanwhile, many young homeschooling students are finished before lunch and have higher test scores!

Children (and adults) have a grave need to be kept away from temptation so as not to fall into sin. Both public and private schools (secular and Christian) are full of foul language, materialism, sexual information, tolerance and encouragement of sin, and false religions. All these things can cause children to succumb to sin and turn away from their family even with a Godly, religious upbringing. The large amount of time children spend in school, school activities, and transiting to and from (seven to eleven hours on school days, nine months a year) as well as the strong urge to fit in can easily allow children to be led down the wrong path. This article shares a similar perspective: Parents: Beware the Danger of Peer Orientation.

We must always remember that even though we live in the world, we are not of the world. As Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be reformed in the newness of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and the acceptable and the perfect will of God.” Cultures, society, sometimes even laws must not keep us from living as true Catholics. The popular opinion, government mandates, and even “majority rule” do not imply goodness or Godliness. Let us look at James 1:27. “Religion clean and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation and to keep one's self unspotted from this world [emphasis added].” It is clear that we must not live as if we are of this world and it follows that we must not allow our children to live as if they are of this world as well. Looking back at the previous paragraph, we can see that the influence of others can and most likely will greatly exceed our own as parents when the children are sent off to school.

Finally as mentioned above, the bible stresses the importance of parents passing on their faith. Blessed Pope John Paul II in his Letter to Families says, “Certainly one area in which the family has an irreplaceable role is that of religious education, which enables the family to grow as a ‘domestic church’” (16, emphasis original). We cannot send our children off to Catholic school and expect any faith teaching to stick if we are not practicing our faith and setting the example in the home. In the Second Vatican Counsel’s declaration Gravissimum educationis, Pope Paul VI states, “Since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most serious obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators. This role in education is so important that only with difficulty can it be supplied where it is lacking” (3).

Public schools, especially, cannot teach religion to children when there are children from twenty different religions present in the classroom. Yet, Chesterton says in What’s Wrong with the World, “It is quaint that people talk of separating dogma from education. Dogma is actually the only thing that cannot be separated from education. It is education. A teacher who is not dogmatic is simply a teacher who is not teaching.” Even when the schools are trying to avoid religion, they are still actually teaching it. They just choose, willingly or unconsciously, to teach atheism.

As you can see, there are so many immensely important reasons to homeschool our children. If you can make the sacrifice to teach your children, you should do so, for their benefit and the benefit of this country and the world. Where the family goes, society will follow.

For more information on homeschooling, please read the resources listed here.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Open to Life: What is Openness to Life?


We must start the discussion with first things: Life is better than death. If we understand and agree on that one principle, we will see how everything will stem from that.

Being open to life is not always easy. As the saying goes, “God never said it would be easy; He just said it would be worth it.” Having a marriage that is open to children does not mean that you are open to life unless every marital act is open to life. Using contraceptives in any form, at any time, is morally wrong. However, “God has wisely ordered laws of nature and the incidence of fertility in such a way that successive births are already naturally spaced through the inherent operation of these laws” (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, 11).

We are all called to “be fertile and multiply” (Genesis 1:28 NAB). The Church calls every family to be generous with regard to children. It is only for grave reasons (that must respect the moral law and be prayerfully considered) that we are allowed to limit children for a certain or indefinite period of time (HV 10).

More and more we seem to have a culture of materialism instead of children. Parents are worried about paying for private schools, cars, and college instead of being generous toward children and letting God take care of the rest. In his book The Well and the Shallows, Chesterton says,
He [the child] is also a much more beautiful, wonderful, amusing and astonishing thing than any of the stale stories or jingling jazz tunes turned out by the machines. When men no longer feel that he is so, they have lost the appreciation of primary things, and therefore all sense of proportion about the world. People who prefer the mechanical pleasures, to such a miracle, are jaded and enslaved. They are preferring the very dregs of life to the first fountains of life. They are preferring the last, crooked, indirect, borrowed, repeated and exhausted things of our dying Capitalist civilisation, to the reality which is the only rejuvenation of all civilisation. It is they who are hugging the chains of their old slavery; it is the child who is ready for the new world.
Another common misconception of today is the concept of “readiness” for children. When are we ever truly ready? Will we ever have “enough” money or “enough” time? This is another one of those materialistic considerations. When people think they must have $1,000 saved to buy all the latest and greatest gadgets for baby, we know they have “lost the appreciation of primary things”.

Consequently, our society today considers parents with only three children to have a large family and rudely asks, “Are you done?” Turkeys are done, chores are done, but children? God calls us to be open to life so that He may bless us with another child.

Up Next: What is Natural Family Planning?

For full texts of the documents used, see my Open to Life Series: Introduction

Friday, June 3, 2011

Open to Life: Series Introduction


With all my discussions of truth and Chesterton, I thought I should talk about a very important topic, relevant to married and single people alike – openness to life. This will remain a very reverent discussion.

In my articles I have used many sources. Instead of linking sources on each article, I am going to compile them here and link to this page on each post. Feel free to read the full documents:
Casti Connubii by Pope Pius XI
Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI
Evangelium Vitae by Blessed Pope John Paul II
Deus Caritas Est by Pope Benedict XVI
Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan by USCCB
Married Love and the Gift of Life by USCCB
Life-Giving Love in an Age of Technology by USCCB
In Vitro Fertilization: The Human Cost by USCCB
“Contraception and Abortion: The Underlying Link” by Rev. Walter J. Schu, L.C.
“The Contraceptive Revolution and Its Fruits” by John Bruchalski M.D. FACOG
The Well and the Shallows by G.K. Chesterton
Eugenics and Other Evils by G.K. Chesterton
Social Reform versus Birth Control by G.K. Chesterton
The Thing: Why I am a Catholic by G.K. Chesterton
Eugenics and Other Evils Lecture by Dale Ahlquist
Natural Family Planning: The Complete Approach by John and Sheila Kippley
“Use of Contraception and Use of Family Planning Services ...” - CDC report

Some of my sources are not available for free. If you are interested, you can purchase them:


Next Post: What is Openness to Life?

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Regress of Parenting


Although I entitled this post “The Regress of Parenting”, I do not feel the title truly fits. Because you can only regress to a state you have been before and I believe this is entirely new ground – for all of us.

Many people today feel that anything new is best and anything old needs to go; hence, the negative reaction to all things “old-fashioned”. This country and others have put progress on a pedestal; they almost worship it. But has anyone ever wondered what we are progressing toward?

Always looking toward the future, while leaving past things behind, gets you nowhere fast. It is like trying to build a house while rejecting the idea of building on the groundwork you just laid. It is only when you continually build on a foundation that actual developments can be made. The only two institutions that have done this, according to Chesterton, are physical science and the Catholic Church.

One major area where our culture discards traditional ideas and worships new ones is with parenting. Even the word “parenting” is a new idea. It originated between 1955 and 1960 when parents started looking to psychologists for advice instead of their own relatives or just using common sense. People used to call it child rearing, but that was when they focused on the marriage instead of the child. (Ironic isn’t it?) On Amazon alone, there are over 61,000 results for “parenting books”. Have we really gotten to the point where we trust a professional over our own judgment? Or where we think that each child (because of his/her birth order or inabilities) needs a different “approach to parenting”?

One of the best (of few) parenting books I have read – Parenting by The Book by John Rosemond – offers four chapters on “The Great Deception” (as he puts it) which are about the lies touted by modern psychology. I have talked about this book before. I even had it among my top ten favorites. If you are a parent or ever will be, this is a must read.

A classic example of the modern psychology problem is psychoanalyzing the child’s actions, which ends up putting blame on someone or something else. Because of this (it is said), you cannot punish the child for his reaction to something beyond his control. I will give an exaggerated example to illustrate the point. As the parent demands to leave the park, the child reacts by hitting the parent. Instead of punishing the child for hitting, the parent apologizes for upsetting the child. By over-focusing on psychology, we have forgotten about sin. Children need to learn discipline. Their behavior should not be excused.

One of the things I really hate to see is parents laughing at disrespect, disobedience, or inappropriate behavior by their children. Children love to have an audience, and the minute they find something to make you laugh, they will repeat it (frequently). Therefore, these things must be disciplined immediately and consistently to teach the child proper behavior and manners. Not long ago parents would not have tolerated this behavior and certainly would not have found it funny. Parents today think tantrums are normal and should be tolerated for 5-year-olds and even beyond. It should not. Parents today are frustrated when their children argue with them … but they can only argue if the parent allows (by arguing back)!

Our state of affairs today is not normal. We need to get back to normal. Old-fashioned and traditional should not be considered “bad words”. They are normal. We need to resurrect the old ideas and meanwhile abandon the new. But many people will say, “Times have changed.” To that I will respond, times have always changed, yet child-rearing styles have only drastically changed in the past fifty years. All the advances in the world should not change something so basic as the raising of a family.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Learning

The sweetest quote from a four-year-old breastfeeding child found in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding "Mama, when you nurse me, it's as if you take the love out of you and put it into me."

Now for the info (paraphrased from the book):
Human babies are born at an earlier stage of development than many other mammals. Why? Because our brains are so large and a woman's pelvis so small (in comparison) that to wait any longer, the baby wouldn't be able to fit through. How much longer would it be? A chimpanzee or gorilla baby is born with a brain half its adult size. Human babies don't reach that "mark" until about nine months old!
Babies are meant to stay with their "mommies". It's the way God and nature intended and for some reason out society has tried to counter this with bouncy seats, swings, cribs, bassinets, car seats, etc. I tried to go against the flow for a while as well and it back-fired (if you'll remember this post). Now we're both so much happier because we're together! There are times when he's laying/sitting by himself and I think "I need you" because I can't stand to be away from him. Why fight with nature?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Baby Check up: Two Months

Recap of  1 mo #s:
Length: 22 in
Weight: 10lb 15.2oz

Today (10 weeks 2 days):
Length: 24 in
Weight: 14lb 1.9oz

He's in the 95 %ile for weight and the 75%ile for length and head circumference! He went from the 25 %ile at birth, to the 75 %ile at one month and now he's in the 95 %ile at 2 months! What's next?!

The doctor is happy that he's growing so well. And everything else sounds and looks great. He's had some issues with eye discharge and the doctor said that it's normal. He goes back in 2 months (at age 4 months).

He had to get some shots today though. I ended up getting everything but the Hep B - b/c there's absolutely no reason for a baby to get this shot. It's an STD and can also be transmitted through contact with infected blood. They just give it to children so they'll be immune as adults. But most shots don't even last that long without a booster so what is the point? Anyway, he got four shots in all plus the liquid for Rotovirus. And he's been reallly fussy all day. It has not been a fun day - for mom or baby!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Struggles and Joys

Well, it's almost that time again. It's been posted on the ship's Facebook page so apparently it's safe to post anywhere -- the ship is leaving September 7th. We will be on our own for 6+ months. I know I will be struggling through this time. It was so nice to have Robert home, even to just have someone to talk to and see what I go through. He helped out a lot around the house too. I'm just so thankful to have such wonderful parents who are planning to visit a couple times while he's gone.

As for the joy? Well, you're looking at it!
My beautiful son is becoming more contented with each passing day. He's now okay with sitting by himself for a few minutes at a time - which makes it a whole lot easier to do things like sweep the garage, pull stuff out of the oven, and cut up food!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Baby Check up: One Month

Bene went to the doctor today!! (Finally ... it took us forever to get him signed up with our insurance so he missed his 2-week appointment.)

Recap of birth #s:
Length: 19.5 in
Weight: 7lb 4oz

Today (5 weeks 2 days):
Length: 22 in
Weight: 10lb 15.8oz

He's in the 75 %ile for length, weight, and head circumference! And he's a solely-breastfed baby!!! My "little man" is growing!! He was so happy during the appointment - wide awake and smiling at everyone!

No shots this time, but he did have to get his second PKU test. I asked the doctor why they have to get it twice and she said because the first test results aren't even valid. They don't mean anything unless the test is taken when they're at least 72 hours old! So then why do they even test them in the hospital?! Good grief!

He will start getting shots next time, at 2 months. I will have to look over the suggested schedule and see which ones I'm going to get for him. I know there are a few that I'm declining for him. (More on that later.)

**On other note -- Everything is getting better. God is giving me more patience everyday, it seems. I bought a new carrier that is more comfortable for me and I just keep Benedict in that unless he's eating or getting his diaper changed. And today - he was able to lay on the bed for a few minutes after his diaper change and entertain himself without fussing!!!! : ) And he slept on the bed this morning by himself for about 20 minutes after I got up! It's been a good day!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Being a Parent

I heard a quote once (from Roland on Army Wives) that this is "the hardest job you'll ever love". I'm definitely seeing that to be true these days. Benedict eats almost every hour during the day. He only takes one "true" nap during the day. A 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. Other than that, he'll sleep for maybe 20-30 minutes once in the morning.

He is very "high needs" right now. A term I learned from Dr. Sears. Robert says "isn't every baby high needs? It's just some are more vocal about it?" - I believe that to be true, and let me say, Benedict is very vocal about it! He must be held constantly, even when he's sleeping. If he falls asleep and I put him down he will wake up within about two minutes and start crying. If I put him down somewhere when he's awake, he starts fussing immediately. If I wait too long to pick him back up, he is very hard to console.

He LOVES going for walks in the stroller at night. We've been doing that every night. But as soon as we get through the door (or today, even on the porch) he starts crying because he knows the walk is over!

And sometimes, even when I'm holding him, he still fusses. It's not an all-out scream, like when I put him down, it's just a fuss to say - "okay, next! I need to be walked around now!" Or the "I am hungry" fuss.

I am so glad that I got the pacifier. It is a life-saver right now. I think if I were to follow the "comfort your baby at your breast" rule of ecological breastfeeding, I'd be nursing constantly (literally!). I nurse enough just with him being hungry every hour.

And let me say - he goes through a lot of diapers because of this! I've been using disposables the past couple days because I was having constant problems with leaks with my cloth diapers. There was one night where I had to change his clothes every time I changed his diaper (like 3-4 times) because he seemed to soak the clothes more than the diaper! I tried to strip them yesterday and I let them air-dry, but they're still damp so I'm leaving them to dry for another night. Even with disposables, I still have to change his diaper every 2 hours - at that point it is bulging from being soaked so much. And last night (after only about four hours), even the disposable leaked.

The past two days have been really hard on me. My parents left yesterday morning so I've been completely on my own. Which is really difficult with Benedict's personality. I'm struggling with my patience - something people have always commented on in the past because I'm such a patient person. This is definitely new. And maybe with time it will get easier being a "single" parent, but for now - I just have to take it day-by-day (and sometimes even minute-by-minute).

With all that being said, I wouldn't change anything. He is my life and he does bring me joy when I get to see his occasional smiles. Mommy loves you, Bene! : )