We must start the discussion with first things: Life is better than death. If we understand and agree on that one principle, we will see how everything will stem from that.
Being open to life is not always easy. As the saying goes, “God never said it would be easy; He just said it would be worth it.” Having a marriage that is open to children does not mean that you are open to life unless every marital act is open to life. Using contraceptives in any form, at any time, is morally wrong. However, “God has wisely ordered laws of nature and the incidence of fertility in such a way that successive births are already naturally spaced through the inherent operation of these laws” (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, 11).
More and more we seem to have a culture of materialism instead of children. Parents are worried about paying for private schools, cars, and college instead of being generous toward children and letting God take care of the rest. In his book The Well and the Shallows, Chesterton says,
He [the child] is also a much more beautiful, wonderful, amusing and astonishing thing than any of the stale stories or jingling jazz tunes turned out by the machines. When men no longer feel that he is so, they have lost the appreciation of primary things, and therefore all sense of proportion about the world. People who prefer the mechanical pleasures, to such a miracle, are jaded and enslaved. They are preferring the very dregs of life to the first fountains of life. They are preferring the last, crooked, indirect, borrowed, repeated and exhausted things of our dying Capitalist civilisation, to the reality which is the only rejuvenation of all civilisation. It is they who are hugging the chains of their old slavery; it is the child who is ready for the new world.Another common misconception of today is the concept of “readiness” for children. When are we ever truly ready? Will we ever have “enough” money or “enough” time? This is another one of those materialistic considerations. When people think they must have $1,000 saved to buy all the latest and greatest gadgets for baby, we know they have “lost the appreciation of primary things”.
Consequently, our society today considers parents with only three children to have a large family and rudely asks, “Are you done?” Turkeys are done, chores are done, but children? God calls us to be open to life so that He may bless us with another child.
Up Next: What is Natural Family Planning?
For full texts of the documents used, see my Open to Life Series: Introduction
5 comments:
Good article, Laura. Love you.
To balance out what your saying with the "otherside" i don't think its accurate to suggest that the reason people limit the number of children is always due to materialism.
Maybe you wern't suggesting this is the case for everyone,but it could appear a bit narrow minded and insensitive to have this view for all.
Theres many people that work slavingly to provide for their 1-2-3 children,have one car,don't live in a huge fancy house,arn't obsessed with their children having the latest toys etc.
Many people,including atheists, see the errors of materialistic thinking and don't hold these values.
Goods are ok,but goods in the place of better things like family,
just ends up with children like Paris Hilton (no offense to her) with OVER-emphasis on goods.
Another point is that its not just the amount of children you have,but the amount of children you can provide for,not just finacially but also perhaps more importantly-psychologically.
I love seeing big families as much as the next person,but at the same time i recognise that being able to raise mentally and emotionally healthy children is also something needing strong consideration.
My father is one of 7 children.His family lived in great poverty and he had to sleep in a barn.It brings him emotional hardship to think about it.
My mama was one of two children.Both parents died.
Her new guardian locked food away from her as a child.
Much more things i cant write here.
My parents knew huge poverty and hardship growing up.
Thye came to a new country,got married and then had two children.
They provided for us two everything that they couldn't have.
In no way are we rich,but our cupboards are always full of food because my parents look after us and are good and kind.
Having many children,while nice,is not always ideal for all people,especially people in poverty.
Or any other circumstance which would lead to poor psychological development,or worsen situations for children or cause misery etc.
First, I have to ask, "Did you actually read my post, or just gloss over it looking for what you thought to be errors?" My post actually did not need a "balance" because I had alreay stated that the Church teaches you can and should delay children for "grave reasons". This is quoted in my post coming from Humanae Vitae. Poverty IS a grave reason. If you cannot provide food for your children, it would be best to delay bringing any new life into the world. But again this should be "prayfully considered" (also a quote from my post).
This is stated in my post before I even talk about materialism. I also state that "more and more we seem to have a culture of materialism". This does not mean that every family stops at one or two children for materialistic reasons. It means that we as a society are increasingly worried more with wealth and materialism than we are with bringing God's gifts into the world.
Oh, I look forward to reading all these! My husband and I are expecting our first child, something that I wouldn't think would be happening last year when we got married - we were planning to wait at least two years until he graduated from grad school, but we quickly realized that all the "grave reasons" we thought we had weren't so grave at all. I wrote about it on my blog if you'd like to read it here: http://catholicnewlywed.blogspot.com/2011/06/open-to-life.html
Wish I had something like this to consult when we were agonizing over the decision to start a family.
Thank you so much for posting this! My husband and I decided on NFP and recently could not longer rationalize NFP. We are open to life. Reading your blog has been very informative. It's great to know there are others out there.
http://talesfromastoria.blogspot.com
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