Taking a Break

Well, after all this waiting, I have finally decided that I can't "do it all" right now. I have been so busy and/or tired lately that I barely even have time to get online to check my email, let alone spend hours reading, researching, and writing posts.

I have a feeling it will only get worse from here, because I'm already in the second trimester and my fatigue is not letting up. Nursing while pregnant apparently takes a lot out of you.

When I finally get to sit down for long periods of time (whenever that may be), I will once again resume my blog series. I was so anxious and excited to write it and now I'm just too tired to get it done. I have plenty of ideas in my head and hopefully some day soon they will make it down on "paper".

For now though, I need to announce a break. I hope to be back soon.

Thank you for visiting.

God bless,
A Bird on Her Nest

Another "Sad" Update

Well, yesterday my DVD drive decided to die, so my main computer (with all my files) is now being sent in to be fixed. Sadly, this leaves my series behind for about the tenth time in two weeks. I have my files backed up, but they are not on this computer yet. I will try to move them tomorrow so that I can work on my posts. If all goes well, my "Between Man and Woman (Only)" post should be up later Wednesday or Thursday. And I will try to get one posted for Friday as well.

I am doing my best to stay on task with everything here at home and I think we have finally finished everything including our move paperwork (which was so continuously put-off that if we hadn't been given a miracle today, we be out quite a bit of money).

Needless to say, I have now learned packing, moving, unpacking, and settling in is not the greatest time to start a new series, especially when I slacked off after finishing my Open to Life series three weeks early. (Yes, I had them scheduled to post that far in advance!)

For anyone who is still with me, I thank you for your wonderful patience.

Marriage Series: An Introduction to Marriage

As I have discussed previously on this blog, marriage is a vocation. It is a beautiful, God-given relationship designed to express the life-giving love of God. God designed marriage from the beginning: Genesis 2:22-24.

22 And the Lord God built the rib which he took from Adam into a woman: and brought her to Adam. 23 And Adam said: This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. 24 Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.

As a vocation, marriage is extremely important and not to be taken lightly. A search online through the Catechism brought up 77 paragraphs including the word “marriage”! Throughout this series, I will try to elaborate as much as possible on the importance of marriage, its meaning and its purpose.

This opening from the Bishops’ “Statement on Same-Sex Marriage” is a beautiful way to end my Introduction on Marriage:

“The Roman Catholic Church believes that marriage is a faithful, exclusive, and lifelong union between one man and one woman, joined as husband and wife in an intimate partnership of life and love. This union was established by God with its own proper laws. By reason of its very nature, therefore, marriage exists for the mutual love and support of the spouses and for the procreation and education of children. These two purposes, the unitive and the procreative, are equal and inseparable. The institution of marriage has a very important relationship to the continuation of the human race, to the total development of the human person, and to the dignity, stability, peace, and prosperity of the family and of society.

“Furthermore, we believe the natural institution of marriage has been blessed and elevated by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament. This means that Christian marriage is more than a contract. Because they are married in the Lord, the spouses acquire a special relationship to each other and to society. Their love becomes a living image of the manner in which the Lord personally loves his people and is united with them. Living a Christian sacramental marriage becomes their fundamental way of attaining salvation.”

Up Next on Wednesday: Between Man and Woman (Only)

For full texts of the documents used, see my Marriage Series: Introduction

Family Day

I have family visiting today and I am still way behind on my posts. I normally have them scheduled one to two weeks ahead, but I have only written the introduction so far. Things around here have been busy from unpacking, running errands, etc. I have a series post scheduled for Monday and I will try to work on more over the weekend (and certainly before Wednesday) so that I can continue to post on time. I apologize for this interruption, but thank you for your patience.

Marriage Series: Introduction

Many people today walk down the aisle thinking they love the person they are about to marry and hoping they will spend the rest of their life with him or her. This is almost the way it should be. If this were a complete picture, why do as many as fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Moreover, why are so many people cohabitating instead of getting married?

To answer these questions, we must start at the beginning. I believe that many people today no longer understand the meaning and value of marriage and the family. They do not understand the true, God-given meaning of love. They do not understand the sanctity of the marital act. They may not even understand or believe their marriage vows! How have we gotten to this state? How can we return to God’s way? I hope that you will learn all this and more in the wonderful series, I have put together. I look forward to sharing each post with you!

The topics for the series are:
* An Introduction to Marriage
* Between Man and Woman (Only)
* Soul Mates
* Courtship vs. Dating
* Is “Love” Required for Marriage?
* Chastity before Marriage
* Cohabitation
* Interfaith Marriages
* Engagements
* Prenuptial Agreements
* Getting Married in the Church
* Vows
* “Getting to know each other”
* Marriage is for Children
* The Importance of NFP in Marriage
* True Love … What is Love?
* Raising Children in the Faith
* Theology of the Body and Marriage
* Arguments are Not the End
* In-laws and Family
* Marriage and Money
* Women and the Vocation of Marriage
* The Problem of Divorce
* Some Final Words about Marriage

Just like my last series, I have used a great deal of sources. Instead of linking each source on each post, I have compiled them here for ease of reading. Please read the ones that interest you. They are all Catholic sources and I enjoyed reading them myself!

These are available free online:
* The Holy Bible from New Advent
* Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI
* Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women) by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* Familiaris Consortio (The Family in the Modern World) by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Letter to Families” by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Letter to Women” by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* Family, Marriage, and De Facto Unions by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Preparation of the Sacrament of Marriage” from the Vatican
* “Between a Man and Woman Q&A About Same Sex Unions” by USCCB
* “Statement on Same Sex Marriage” by USCCB
* Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan by USCCB
* Married Love and the Gift of Life by USCCB
* Catechism of the Catholic Church on USCCB
* Catechism of the Catholic Church on Knights of Columbus: better for searching
* “Pastoral Letter on Cohabitation” by The Kansas Catholic Conference
* Catholic Dating Guide by Jason E. King
* Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage by Rev. W. Becket Soule, O.P.
* Superstition of Divorce by GK Chesterton
* Divorce versus Democracy by GK Chesterton
* The Defendant by GK Chesterton
* Manalive by GK Chesterton
* Superstition of Divorce Lecture by Dale Ahlquist

These must be purchased:
* Together for Life by Joseph M. Champlin
* “Living Together Before Marriage” by Katrina Zeno and Christopher West
* Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West

Remember to check back here often, as I hope to update this page frequently.

Are We Allowed to Judge Others?

Many people, both Catholics and Protestants alike, tend to take Bible verses out of context to fit their view of how they should live a Christian life. One verse that could not be more “abused” in this sense is Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that you may not be judged.”

If we read the rest of the passage, we will learn what Jesus actually says.
“2 For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why do you see the mote that is in your brother's eye; and see not the beam that is in your own eye? 4 Or how do you say to your brother: Let me cast the mote out of your eye; and behold a beam is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of your own eye, and then shall you see to cast out the mote out of your brother's eye.” (Matt. 7:2-5)

We see in verse 5 that Jesus tells us, if we first cast out the beam from our own eye, we will then see to cast out the mote from our brother’s eye. This is exactly the opposite of the interpretation given for verse 1: that no one but the Father in heaven can judge anything.

While there is a difference between judging actions and judging people (and I will elaborate on that below), we are called to and must judge the actions of others. If we were not allowed to judge, then no one could say, “Fornication is wrong”, or “Abortion is wrong”, or “Cohabitation is wrong”.

We must be mindful of the problems in judging the person since we may not know their level of culpability for their actions. We cannot know what is truly in their heart and therefore cannot make a blanket statement such as “so-and-so will go to hell for that abortion”. We cannot even know whether Judas is in hell.

However, everyone must judge actions using a properly formed conscience. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church par. 1778, it is said:

“Conscience is a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act that he is going to perform, is in the process of performing, or has already completed. In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right. It is by the judgment of his conscience that man perceives and recognizes the prescriptions of the divine law:

“Conscience is a law of the mind; yet [Christians] would not grant that it is nothing more; I mean that it was not a dictate, nor conveyed the notion of responsibility, of duty, of a threat and a promise.... [Conscience] is a messenger of him, who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules us by his representatives. Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Christ.”

In addition, CCC 1783 says:

“Conscience must be informed and moral judgment enlightened. A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful. It formulates its judgments according to reason, in conformity with the true good willed by the wisdom of the Creator. The education of conscience is indispensable for human beings who are subjected to negative influences and tempted by sin to prefer their own judgment and to reject authoritative teachings.”

We must also remember that Matt. 7:2, “For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again,” does not mean that if you judge cohabitation as acceptable that you will be judged the same in heaven. As the CCC 1783 says, “Conscience must be informed and moral judgment enlightened” (emphasis added). This means that we must be informed of the Church teachings in order to judge actions correctly.

We must also be mindful that our past sins do not make us unworthy to judge the actions of others. If this were so, how could Peter have been expected to lead the Church as Pope when he denied Christ three times! All humans are sinful, that does not mean that we cannot judge, it only means that we must realize our sins, confess our sins, and grow in our understanding of the Faith in order to lead Christian lives.


* An important ending note: "to admonish sinners" is third of the seven spiritual works of mercy.

Veiling in Church

I mentioned last week that I had felt called to start dressing modestly and femininely with skirts and dresses, and that I had felt called in another area as well—head covering during mass. I want to share with you my research in regards to head covering.

In 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, Paul says:

2 Now I praise you, brethren, that in all things you are mindful of me and keep my ordinances as I have delivered them to you. 3 But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered disgraces his head. 5 But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered disgraces her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven. 6 For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. 7 The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. 9 For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man. 10 Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, because of the angels. 11 But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. 12 For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God. 13 You yourselves judge. Does it become a woman to pray unto God uncovered? 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him? 15 But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the Church of God.

The 1917 Code of Canon Law #1262 said:

§1. It is desirable that, consistent with ancient discipline, women be separated from men in church.

§2. Men, in a church or outside a church, while they are assisting at sacred rites, shall be bare-headed, unless the approved mores of the people or peculiar circumstances of things determine otherwise; women, however, shall have a covered head and be modestly dressed, especially when they approach the table of the Lord.

From Catholic Answers, Apologist Peggy Frye says, “[T]he document Inter Insigniores by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (October 15, 1976) stated that the 1917 Code of Canon Law (Canon 1262.2) requiring women to wear a veil on their head was a custom of the period, and that such ordinances, “probably inspired by the customs of the period, concern scarcely more than disciplinary practices of minor importance”, thus the “obligation imposed upon women to wear a veil on their head (1 Cor 11:2-16) no longer has a normative value." However, as a sign of respect, women should wear a veil when meeting the pope.”

Showing the Pope respect by covering your head when meeting him, but not showing Christ that same respect at mass does not sit well with me. I admit I do not fully understand the custom to cover your head when meeting the Pope. Nevertheless, I do feel that if it truly is a sign of respect, then we must give Christ that same respect, especially during the Eucharist.

I understand, and would like to mention, that this is a personal devotion for me. It is not binding in conscience upon anyone else. However, if after reading this and researching the Church laws, customs, and scripture on your own, you feel called to cover, go with your heart. Do not let the words of others sway you to believe that head covering is outdated and/or suppressive to women.

Women, Fashions, and the Decline of Society

I now fully understand Chesterton when he writes in What’s Wrong with the World about a reason why women did not need the right to vote. It is because they already rule – they rule the home and therefore society. Women are society’s center. They are the moral standard. What women allow, do, and say will set the tone for all of society. This has been interpreted (from Genesis) as the reason that the serpent went after the woman first. If you want to destroy a society, you must start with the women. Everything else will come down with them.

Bl. Jacinta Marto recalls what Our Blessed Mother spoke to her and the other two children in 1917. “Certain fashions will be introduced which will offend our Lord very much. Persons who serve God must not follow fashions. The Church does not have fashions; Our Lord is always the same. The sins of the world are very great. …”

Women have allowed themselves to become corrupted by the ways of the world. Pants as women’s wear have been around for “so long” that many young girls and women do not think twice about what this says for women as a whole. Giuseppe Cardinal Siri tells us that male dress changes the psychology of women. Male dress tends to vitiate relationships between men and women. And male dress harms the dignity of the mother in her child’s eyes.

Pope Pius XII says this in “Allocution to the Girls of Catholic Action” May 22, 1941:

“Some young ladies may remark that a certain form of dress is more convenient, or even more hygienic; but if it becomes a grave and proximate danger for the soul, it is certainly not hygienic for the spirit, and you must reject it. … And if simply for one’s own pleasure, one has not the right to endanger the physical health of others, is it not still less licit to compromise the health, or rather the very life, of their souls?

“If, as some women say, a bold fashion does not leave them with any evil impressions, how can they know anything of the impression made on others? Who can assure them that others do not draw therefrom incentives to evil? …

“Oh, how truly was it said that if some Christian women could only suspect the temptations and falls they cause in others with modes of dress and familiarity in behavior, which they unthinkingly consider as of no importance, they would be shocked by the responsibility which is theirs.”

All women must understand “the responsibility which is theirs”, mainly, the life of their souls and the souls of others. We must remember that the way we dress, act, and speak represents our femininity, which is beautiful and God-given and must be protected. We must not and do not need to dress and act like men in order to be respected and have equal rights. It is only when we are truly feminine is our dress, words, and actions that we will be given the full respect and dignity due us.

My Path Toward Modesty

Now that I am trying to lead a truly Christian life, with all that encompasses, I cannot believe how I used to dress. I dressed with the fashions of the time: short shorts, short skirts, low-cut tops (sometimes at the same time). One look at my senior pictures from high school will tell all. Given my previous statement, I feel they are too undignified to post here.

As I have grown older (not that I am that old), I have slowly started to become more modest. The biggest changes only started happening when I came back into full communion with the Church. But even then, I hardly gave much of a thought to the way I dress. I figured clothes were clothes. If they are being sold, I can wear them!

About the last eight months or so, I have been feeling very uncomfortable in what I wear. I have noticed that my necklines are too low and constantly felt the need to pull them up. I felt my pants hung too low on my hips, and was always having to pull them up as well. But the more I read and immersed myself in Catholic thought and teaching, the more I felt called to do more.

I finally “gave in” to the yearning of my heart and my husband and I bought me some lovely skirts to wear. I would love to wear dresses but they are impractical right now since I am still nursing. I bought some lovely tops to go along with the skirts. I do not think what I am wearing is “perfect” by any sense, but now I feel content (instead of self-conscious) when I am in public.

The book Dressing with Dignity that I discussed last post really helped me to figure out the why in my question of being called to dress this way. Sometimes we feel a pull from God in one direction of our lives and we are uneasy about following it, wondering where it came from or why we should do this particular thing. I ignored the voice for a while, but I can say that I am truly thankful I finally listened to it.

Next week I will discuss the other area where I have felt a calling.