Marriage Series: Soul Mates

I do not have any Catholic sources for this post, only my own thoughts and ideas. But I believe my reasoning is based on common sense, reality, and faith—and that is where I will start.

So many people have this idea of “soul mates”. They feel, as I used to, that somewhere in this huge, ever-growing world there is only one person that God designed for them to marry. And somehow we will “just know” when we meet the right one, the only one, for us.

Why would this be a false idea? How could this become a problem? A few things Catholic come to mind. First, in the Bible, it states that if you become a widow, you are free to marry again, because the marriage bond is broken through death (and only through death). How could we marry another if there was only one God-created spouse out there for us?

Second, what if, with all our human faults and failings, we marry the wrong one? Then one day we meet the “perfect one”, our soul mate? Shouldn’t we be able to divorce our current spouse to marry this one person God created for us? Well, as stated above, it is only through death that the marriage bond is broken and since killing is a sin, we will be stuck with our spouse until they die naturally!

This idea has hurt so many people and so many marriages. People think that when someone “better” comes along, they should divorce their current spouse and marry the lover. But the grass is not greener, as “love” comes in stages and the first stage of love is the only one most people actually consider love. (If you don’t have those butterflies in your stomach or the cheesy grin on your face, you must have “fallen out of love”. I will talk more about this erroneous notion later.)

So if we do not have a soul mate, how do we know how to pick a spouse? Courtship.

Up Next: Courtship vs. Dating

For full texts of the documents used, see my Marriage Series: Introduction

Marriage Series: An Introduction to Marriage

As I have discussed previously on this blog, marriage is a vocation. It is a beautiful, God-given relationship designed to express the life-giving love of God. God designed marriage from the beginning: Genesis 2:22-24.

22 And the Lord God built the rib which he took from Adam into a woman: and brought her to Adam. 23 And Adam said: This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. 24 Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.

As a vocation, marriage is extremely important and not to be taken lightly. A search online through the Catechism brought up 77 paragraphs including the word “marriage”! Throughout this series, I will try to elaborate as much as possible on the importance of marriage, its meaning and its purpose.

This opening from the Bishops’ “Statement on Same-Sex Marriage” is a beautiful way to end my Introduction on Marriage:

“The Roman Catholic Church believes that marriage is a faithful, exclusive, and lifelong union between one man and one woman, joined as husband and wife in an intimate partnership of life and love. This union was established by God with its own proper laws. By reason of its very nature, therefore, marriage exists for the mutual love and support of the spouses and for the procreation and education of children. These two purposes, the unitive and the procreative, are equal and inseparable. The institution of marriage has a very important relationship to the continuation of the human race, to the total development of the human person, and to the dignity, stability, peace, and prosperity of the family and of society.

“Furthermore, we believe the natural institution of marriage has been blessed and elevated by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament. This means that Christian marriage is more than a contract. Because they are married in the Lord, the spouses acquire a special relationship to each other and to society. Their love becomes a living image of the manner in which the Lord personally loves his people and is united with them. Living a Christian sacramental marriage becomes their fundamental way of attaining salvation.”

Up Next on Wednesday: Between Man and Woman (Only)

For full texts of the documents used, see my Marriage Series: Introduction

Marriage Series: Introduction

Many people today walk down the aisle thinking they love the person they are about to marry and hoping they will spend the rest of their life with him or her. This is almost the way it should be. If this were a complete picture, why do as many as fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Moreover, why are so many people cohabitating instead of getting married?

To answer these questions, we must start at the beginning. I believe that many people today no longer understand the meaning and value of marriage and the family. They do not understand the true, God-given meaning of love. They do not understand the sanctity of the marital act. They may not even understand or believe their marriage vows! How have we gotten to this state? How can we return to God’s way? I hope that you will learn all this and more in the wonderful series, I have put together. I look forward to sharing each post with you!

The topics for the series are:
* An Introduction to Marriage
* Between Man and Woman (Only)
* Soul Mates
* Courtship vs. Dating
* Is “Love” Required for Marriage?
* Chastity before Marriage
* Cohabitation
* Interfaith Marriages
* Engagements
* Prenuptial Agreements
* Getting Married in the Church
* Vows
* “Getting to know each other”
* Marriage is for Children
* The Importance of NFP in Marriage
* True Love … What is Love?
* Raising Children in the Faith
* Theology of the Body and Marriage
* Arguments are Not the End
* In-laws and Family
* Marriage and Money
* Women and the Vocation of Marriage
* The Problem of Divorce
* Some Final Words about Marriage

Just like my last series, I have used a great deal of sources. Instead of linking each source on each post, I have compiled them here for ease of reading. Please read the ones that interest you. They are all Catholic sources and I enjoyed reading them myself!

These are available free online:
* The Holy Bible from New Advent
* Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI
* Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women) by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* Familiaris Consortio (The Family in the Modern World) by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Letter to Families” by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Letter to Women” by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* Family, Marriage, and De Facto Unions by Bl. Pope John Paul II
* “Preparation of the Sacrament of Marriage” from the Vatican
* “Between a Man and Woman Q&A About Same Sex Unions” by USCCB
* “Statement on Same Sex Marriage” by USCCB
* Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan by USCCB
* Married Love and the Gift of Life by USCCB
* Catechism of the Catholic Church on USCCB
* Catechism of the Catholic Church on Knights of Columbus: better for searching
* “Pastoral Letter on Cohabitation” by The Kansas Catholic Conference
* Catholic Dating Guide by Jason E. King
* Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage by Rev. W. Becket Soule, O.P.
* Superstition of Divorce by GK Chesterton
* Divorce versus Democracy by GK Chesterton
* The Defendant by GK Chesterton
* Manalive by GK Chesterton
* Superstition of Divorce Lecture by Dale Ahlquist

These must be purchased:
* Together for Life by Joseph M. Champlin
* “Living Together Before Marriage” by Katrina Zeno and Christopher West
* Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West

Remember to check back here often, as I hope to update this page frequently.

The New Marriage Series

This is not my introduction to my new series. It is only an overview and look ahead for everyone to see what is in store!

I feel it is important for me to site Catholic sources with my series. I do not want to write another one like my Back to Nature series where I strictly state my ideas and thoughts. These latest two, Open to Life and now Marriage, are too important not to add Catholic sources.

With that said, I have a great deal of reading in store for me with this series. I have not read all the papal encyclicals about marriage, women, and family. I also have books from Chesterton, Bishops’ letters, and a few Catholic web articles that I plan to read. I hope that my motivation and time management will help me to accomplish this quickly so I can start writing.

If you watched my introduction page for my last series, you saw immense growth in the amount of posts I had. I started with about four posts in mind and the series grew to a total of 22 (including the introduction and closing remarks)! This one is already starting to do the same. I began my thoughts with only the idea of soul mates and it has grown from there. I currently have these posts in mind, but I am hoping to add many more:

* Between a man and woman
* Soul mates
* Courtship vs. dating
* Cohabitation
* Engagements
* Prenuptial agreements
* Vows
* “Getting to know each other”
* Theology of the Body and Marriage
* Arguments
* The importance of NFP
* In-laws and family
* Marriage and money
* Women and the vocation of marriage
* The problems with divorce

As I said previously, I am taking a little time off to move and delve into writing ahead for this series. I plan to post my Marriage Series Introduction in about two weeks.