Woman at Home

Chesterton wrote in his book What’s Wrong with the World, “Now it is the great mark of our modernity that people are always proposing substitutes for these old things; and these substitutes always answer one purpose where the old thing answered ten.”

When a woman leaves the home to “focus on her career”, she leaves a laundry list of responsibilities, and a household hung out to dry. Who will watch the children? Who will cook the meals? Who will wash the clothes? Who will teach the children? And who will clean the house? The woman’s importance in the home is infinitely more valuable than any modern feminist could conceive.

Within the past century, services such as: daycares, preschools, “one-box meals”, frozen dinners, laundry services, dry cleaners, and maid services were made accessible to the lower and middle classes, because women decided they needed emancipation from domesticity. The need for these many “conveniences” only proves that married women with a career cannot “have it all”. They cannot be the “perfect wife and mother” if they are also an employee.

A person must decide their vocation at the brink of adulthood, and he or she has three choices: priesthood/religious life, marriage, or celibate single life. Within these vocations, people can choose occupations as well, but the vocation always supersedes the occupation. Aa a priest, a man cannot be a good shepherd to two thousand, or even to twenty, when he must raise up five at home. It follows that a woman who chooses marriage (and therefore motherhood) cannot work outside the home and still properly maintain the house and raise the children.

The selfish, individualistic ideas of our culture have caused many (if not all) of the current problems: irresponsibility, divorce, smaller families, an increase of women and children living in poverty, a dependence on the government for necessities, and disregard for human life. We need to get back to a family-centered culture instead of an individual-centered one.

What is "A Bird on Her Nest"?

My new blog title is from Chesterton’s debate with George Bernard Shaw. Shaw claimed that women needed freedom from the home, like being birds in a cage. Chesterton rebutted that woman is already free when she is in the home – like a bird on a nest. When she goes out in the world, she becomes a slave. As Chesterton once said, “Twenty million young women rose to their feet with the cry, ‘We will not be dictated to’: and proceeded to become stenographers.”

As for my subtitle, “defending the joyous drudgery of a housewife’s life”, I will let Chesterton’s words speak for themselves. In his book, What’s Wrong with the World, Chesterton writes:

“When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”

A Bit of Randomness

Well, it's almost a new year and my blog is sorely lacking in updates. It kind of went to the wayside (along with house cleaning) after Robert came home. It seems like I have more time to do things when he's gone (or working) than when he's home all the time!

I am finally back into meal planning -- and hoping/praying that we can finally stick to our budget this year so we can save more money. Saving has (sadly) been a lower priority lately with all our eating out, buying Robert some new clothes, and purchasing our lovely piano (more about that below)!

It's amazing how much money you can save when you go into the grocery store with a plan and a list instead of just thinking of "meals" (if you can call them that) as you go. Our first planned meal was last night - homemade ham and bean soup (using dry beans). Very delicious. Robert loved it. I made homemade corn muffins to go along with it, which was a nice compliment.

I made some sandwich bread yesterday as well - but I think I took it out of the oven too soon, so I'll have to try again next time. I want to start making all of our bread again. I bought some wheat gluten, hoping that will help the bread become less "crumb-y" ... hoping anyway. I might try a small amount of bread flour if that doesn't work, because my italian bread recipe turns out so nicely.

I would also like to start making all of our desserts from scratch. I made some wonderful butter toffee, caramels, and candy bar treats with the help of my mom when my parents were visiting earlier this month. We still have some toffee left over but everything else has been eaten. The candy was so rich and so delicious. I can't wait to make the caramels again to try to improve on them. (They were a bit hard, probably from boiling too long.)

And I've even started making cinnamon rolls from scratch. I've made two batches now (the second was much better), but they are delightful! And they are made with baking powder, so they're fast and easy. The link is on my recipe page.

And last but not least, my new piano! Well, I should say our piano. Robert and I have been eyeing pianos since before Benedict was born (maybe for almost a year now). We considered one, but they were a little out of our price range. I was set on buying a full sized keyboard if we were going to spend the money. There's no use buying one (in my opinion) if I can't even play all my favorite songs on it! So we finally broke down and bought one as our Christmas present to each other this year. It came with an attached stand, pedals, weighted keys, and a bench. I'm so thrilled with the purchase!

Well, if you're still with me, I'm going to try to update once every week or two from now on so that I have a little motivation to stay on track, but also to share with you what I've been up to in the kitchen as well as any new updates with Benedict.

Views, Beliefs, Differences

Sometimes I struggle in this "world". The views that I have are so much different and so contradictory to everyone and everything else in our society. I've discussed this with Robert on occasion but sometimes I just feel the need to share, to get it out, because I hate feeling like I have to "make excuses" for what I do or who I am.

There are so many times I wish I was alive in an earlier century rather than this modern era, a time when staying home to care for the house (even without children) was the norm, when people lived off the land instead of trashing it, and you didn't have to have a job or school or something else outside of the home to feel fulfilled (or rather for others to think you felt fulfilled).

Many times when people ask if I have a job and I tell them no, I feel like I have to make some excuse to add to my response because they expect that I should be working or going to school and will look down on me for staying home while my husband brings in the only paycheck. Instead, from now on, I'm going to try to stand firm and confident in my decision - I stay at home. And I love it. I don't need any outside obligations to make me feel fulfilled. I feel great where I am. I always have, even before I was pregnant.

When I was discussing this with Robert today, I realized that this is probably the reason I could never decide on a major or finish school. It wasn't my focus or my life's destiny. I love math. I love medicine. I love children (I was thinking of teaching at one point). But I didn't want to have something so important to focus on. My family (with or without children) is what's important to me, not an outside job.

Working at home - as in keeping the home - is job enough for me. Even now and especially when we have a bigger family (God-willing), I can't imagine trying to divide my time between a job (or school) and my husband and children along with keeping the house clean and food on the table.

It's not like I will only have a few years with my kids and then be back to a homemaker (instead of a mother and teacher) during the day. I want to homeschool. I know some people say they will get a job when their kids are in school, but that's not for me either. I will always be with my children and I that is important for them.

I may discuss more on this topic later, but I think that's enough for now. You can also check out this post that I wrote last summer for more of my views. But that post has a "stronger" view of this topic.

Going Back to Nature: Reuse, Repurpose

I've been running a weekly "column" called Going Back to Nature. This week I'm talking about the final "R" - Reusing (which is really the second (Reduce, Reuse, Recylce), I've just been doing them out of order)!

So many things now-a-days are "one-time-use". You use it. You throw it away. You get another one. Here's some examples: sippy cups, flatware, cleaning wipes, plates, dusters, mop pads, storage containers, paper towels. The list goes on, but I'll stop there. The point is, there is so much waste in our society. Everything is expendable. When something breaks, we don't try to fix it, we just throw it away. When clothes get holes, we don't patch them; we pitch them.

Not only does this hurt the environment, but it also hurts your pocketbook! The cost to reuse and/or fix these items is minimal compared to the cost to replace them. When something breaks, start by thinking how you can fix the item instead of going out to buy another. Whether you can fix it yourself or you have to take it to a professional, most of the time the outlay will be cheaper than buying new. Go around your home and count how many "one-time-use" items you have. Think about buying reusable items when those run out.

If you're thinking about redecorating, shop at your own home. Just watch HGTV sometime and you'll see how often items are taken from other rooms and re-purposed to decorate elsewhere. A door can become a coatrack. Kitchen cabinets can become a storage bench or a toy chest. Old light fixtures can be transformed into indoor candle holders. Tons more ideas await at HGTV.com! Just remember, most things can have a second life if you'll just get creative and think outside the box!

Going Back to Nature: Reduce Consumption

I've been running a weekly "column" called Going Back to Nature. This week I'm talking about reducing consumption.

I still get amazed by the fact that Going Back to Nature (sometimes "going green") can save so much money! There are so many ways to reduce consumption - because there's so many things that could be/need to be reduced!

**Water - Wear clothes more than once so you're not washing as often; most of the time, they're not dirty anyway. Only wash full loads of clothes. Take showers instead of baths. Cut your shower time. Use only one glass (to drink from) all day so you're washing less dishes. Run the dishwasher only when it is full.

**Packaging - Buy in bulk (if you'll use it all) to reduce packaging. Drink filtered water from the tap instead of buying bottled for home. Buy a reusable bottle to take when on-the-go ... there's times when I get a soda or water when I'm away from home and end up throwing it in the trash because there's no recycling area around.

**Electricity - Use a clothes line to dry clothes; it can actually help whiten whites too! Use CFL or even LED bulbs instead of incandescent. Lower the temperature on your heater in the winter and turn up the temp on your a/c in the summer.

**Paper - Reuse paper that only has writing on one side; I use it for my grocery lists and random notes (thanks mom!). Bank online and use e-bills. Opt-out of credit card offers and junk mail.

**Gas - Carpool. Don't drive aggressively. Observe the speed limit. Properly inflate your tires; check them once per month. Empty your trunk.

**Other - Make or buy reusable shopping bags. Use rechargeable batteries.

Going Back to Nature: Cut the Clutter

I've been running a weekly "column" called Going Back to Nature. This week I'm talking about cutting the clutter.

Last year I got rid of car loads of junk, literally. Some of it was in good enough condition to donate. Some of it had to be thrown away. But overall, our house looks better for it. Our garage can actually fit a car with no problem. And we didn't have to pay any money for being over the weight allowance when we moved last year. Our closets are clean and I can find things when I want to.

I know it's hard to get rid of things. It took me years of living on my own carrying around most of that junk through five moves to get rid of it. But once I realized the fact that it was just taking up space and I really wasn't ever going to use it again, I was able to get it out of my house.

Now you're probably thinking - what does this have to do with Going Back to Nature? Ponder this for a while. One hundred years ago, how many families had closets, attics, garages, basements or even storage units full of "junk"? If you've ever been in older houses you've probably noticed that they don't even have that much closet space (if any at all) let alone room for piles and piles of junk. People just didn't have more than they needed back then. It was a principal, just common sense. No one really thought about it. It just happened!

Okay, you're probably thinking your stuff is not junk it's important ... but how much of it have you used in the past year? What about in the past two years? If you haven't used it in that long, odds are pretty good that you're never going to use it again! It's just taking up space and sometimes even costing you money to keep it. Think about how hard it is to find what you're actually looking for or how much you're paying for your storage unit or how much you're paying for extra weight when you're moving (and volume if it's a self-move). Get rid of it. Today!

Going Back to Nature: Reducing Trash & Recycling

I've been running a weekly "column" called Going Back to Nature. I've been working on reducing our trash and recycling a lot lately so I thought I would share some of what we do and what else we can all work toward.

**One of the easiest ways to reduce the amount of "garbage" you're throwing away is to recycle! In most cities you can recycle glass, plastic, cardboard, paper, magazines, and newspapers. Plus there are many websites out there to help you recycle almost everything else (such as electronics and hazardous materials)!

The best place to find a recycling center near you for almost any item: Earth911
Other websites: Yahoo! Green (recycling electronics), Recycling hazardous materials, stop junk mail, get rid of credit card offers

**The next thing you can do to reduce your garbage: stop using all those single use items (dusters, mops, wipes, plastic bags, etc.) You can buy a microfiber duster (which is essentially what the "Swiffer dusters" are) and wash it in your washing machine. You can use a regular mop with a washable head, rags with bottled cleaners instead of wipes, and washable plastic containers instead of plastic bags.

Robert and I employ as much of the above as we can into our day-to-day lives and I'll tell you, by doing that we went from having a full kitchen bag in a matter of a day or two to going most times over a week before the bag is full. Sometimes we have to empty it because of the smell and not because of the volume. I also empty our other small trash cans into the kitchen can - so the one bag a week is all the trash we have! Our recycling container fills up much faster than the trash can.

Some other ways to reduce trash that I'm hoping to apply in the future:
**Use cloth diapers and cloth wipes instead of disposable. It is amazing how much waste disposable diapers produce. It is estimated that 27.4 billion disposable diapers are used every year in the U.S. alone resulting in 3.4 million tons of waste added to landfills every year!
**Start using cloth napkins instead of paper. They're easy and simple to wash with the rest of the towels. Just don't get white -- they'll stain!
**Use rags for wiping up messes instead of paper towels.
**Use wash cloths instead of sponges to wash dishes (much more sanity and it reduces waste).

It's also unbelievable how implementing all these things can actually reduce your costs as well. While the initial outlay may be more expensive than just buying a single package of swiffer refills, cleaning wipes, diapers, napkins, paper towels, etc, the overall savings will really start to add up!

Going Back to Nature

Last week, I was going back through Laura's posts (yes, we have the same name) at Heavenly Homemakers and noticed her enthusiasm about raw food including milk and unprocessed sugars. I've been wanting to get Back to Nature lately in regards to our food and life.

So, I thought I would start a new topic. Each week I will discuss a new food or idea related to going back to nature.

Future topics I'm mulling over: raw milk; organic beef, dairy, and produce; sugar; processed foods; fast food; mineral make-up; natural cleaners; reducing trash, clutter, and consumption; reusing instead of wasting; and recycling.

1950's Housewife

With all my changes this week, I thought I would comment on why exactly I feel I need to make these changes. Lately I have been seeing a shift in my ideals. I've always been a little "old-fashioned". I was raised in a home where my mother stayed home. She did the cooking and the cleaning and even taught me how to crotchet, embroider, sew, and a little about how to use a sewing machine.

When I was younger, I always knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mother like my mom, but that's about where the idea ended. Now as I've grown a little older, I'm starting to see how the stereotypical 1950's housewife had it right.

I believe it’s a good thing for mothers to be at home with their children, for wives to have dinner ready when the husband returns home from work and to “keep the home fires burning” while their sailor/soldier/etc. is away. Why do I believe it’s good? In a nutshell, women were doing that for thousands of years and families were thriving. So what changed forty years ago that made women think differently?

A woman’s first priority should always be to her family. When other things come first, and let’s face it, sometimes work has to, that can greatly affect the family by reducing time available to clean and have a healthy meal on the table. So how can she justify going to work unless she has to, to support her family?

I’m not saying that every “dust bunny” has to be cleaned and every meal has to be healthy, but I think we’ve gotten to the point where “just enough” is now the standard instead of the exception. It’s more acceptable today to have a dirty home and fast food for dinner because “there’s just no time to do it all”! Something has to be sacrificed and it shouldn’t be the family.

I also believe that more families today have two working adults, not to get by, but to keep up their standard of living. Society says you have to have the biggest house, the nicest car, and all the luxuries you can get your hands on. But in the Bible, material goods do not make you wealthy; modesty, charity, and kindness do.

I think we all need to take a look back at our roots and see the destruction that this current way of life has brought us – higher divorce rates than ever before, higher suicide rates (of children, teens, and adults), abortion, and more debt than we’ve ever had.

Photo: 1950s magazine ad (from Flikr)

Staying Motivated

Lately, I've had problems with motivation. I had a list of weekly chores (one chore for each day) that I made a while back. But it wasn't in an obvious location (the side of the fridge) and I wasn't getting motivated to do them -- I'd skip a chore for the day or even the whole week.

Then I saw this link on The Happy Housewife last week, and even though I'm not a mom, I still thought I'd check it out and see what it was all about. They have resource links and homeschooling information but the thing that caught my eye was the Daily Chore Planners in the "products" section.

I got a few cleaning ideas from their site and made my own list version. I have lists for daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, semi-annual, and annual chores. I started using it Friday and spent all day (from about 10 am to 5 pm) cleaning! Needless to say - "I love it". It is definitely motivating for me to see a list of things I need to accomplish. It helps me to see what needs to be done and what time frame I have to do it in - that way, if I don't feel like doing very much one day I can just work on the daily chores, but if I'm in cleaning mode I have a whole list of things to do!

This is only Day 2 (I keep my weekends free so I can spend time with Robert because I don't get very much time with him during the week since he's working 2 hours away right now) so we'll see how it goes - I'll keep you updated and let you know if I'm staying on track!

Knots, Knots, and More Knots

Yesterday was pretty busy. I ended up doing three full loads of laundry. Also, we finally fixed the nightstand that got broken by the movers. I still get irritated whenever I look at my furniture (2 bookcases, file cabinet, nightstand, sofa table). I am so turned off now by paying for movers because of all the damage that was done this past time. Whenever we have to move again - Robert better be here! Because I'm not paying anyone to damage my furniture again!

As you can see by my book list, I'm learning to tie knots. Robert called me his "little boatswains mate"! I just think it's fun and interesting. And some of the knots are really beautiful. A crown knot is the one I learned on the ship - I found that in the book I bought over the weekend.

Crown Knot (the one I learned on the ship)


Good Luck Knot (I think it should be called a Double Crown)


Simple Chain Knot


Braid Knot


Chinese Button Knot (says it can be used in place of a button on clothing)


Fireman's Chair Knot (one loop goes behind the armpits and the other one at the knees - used to lower people down from buildings)

Busy, Busy (all day long)

Well, I've sure got a lot to do today and tomorrow. I seem to get pretty lazy when I know Robert won't be home to see what I have (or haven't) done!

-Grocery shopping (I'm starting my 2 wk plan!)
-Wash the sheets & comforter
-Wash towels
-Dust
-Clean Bathrooms
-Vacuum
-Mop kitchen floor
-Empty all trash
-Clean kitty litter
-Empty dishwasher (that I finally got to run last night! after 4 days - took that long to get a full load)

No News ...

I was reminded of a very important Navy lesson this weekend - so I had to go back and edit some of my posts.

I had to wake up at 6 a.m. to take Robert to work today. It's days like these that I wish we had two cars - but I know we don't need it and it would cost us too much. It's actually nice out today though. The sun is out and it's supposed to be 65 degrees for the high. You could see the sunrise through the mountains this morning! It was gorgeous. I love being here because when the sky is clear, you really get to see God's beautiful landscape.

I get a day off from chores today because I had to do laundry last night for Robert. It's not that exciting because now I'll probably be bored!

Just another day (in paradise)

I added the last part in parentheses because my title made me think of a country song - which actually is kind of relatable.

I decided to leave the sheets for later in the week (that's supposed to be my self-appointed duty for today). I have something for every weekday. Not only to keep me occupied but also so I don't feel overwhelmed with everything piling up. I've been starting to realize lately that I've changed so much in my thinking and overall attitude over the past few years. Almost every day something comes up that makes me think "wow, I used to believe something completely different".

For instance, yesterday, I was folding laundry which I now do twice a week and thinking how I actually love doing laundry now. But I used to hate laundry so much I would literally let it pile up for weeks to the point where I would have to wash 3+ full loads (when I was living by myself)!

Another example, I used to think I would have just 2 children one girl and one boy and now I understand that every child is a blessing from God and I'm hoping He grants me the privilege of raising a large family. Then there's the fact that I used to think bottles were acceptable even if you were breastfeeding, and now I know the best way to follow God's plan for life is to ecologically breastfeed (no bottles, no pacifiers, exclusive breastfeeding for 6+ mos, etc).

It just amazes me how every day I see God opening my eyes to something wonderful about my vocation and how I can find blessings even in the every day chores!

I started reading this blog on Faith & Family - which led to me adding the quote by Mother Teresa to my blog. It was about this couple in Quebec who are suing the hospital whose ethics committee overturned their decision to stop the feeding tube for their infant daughter. One woman in the comments even brought up something that I've never heard of called "wrongful life"/"wrongful-birth" suits where the parents sue the doctor for not finding a disease in-utero that would have led them to abort their child. Some people's gall just astounds me.